It has taken several months of difficult, draining work, and severe overtaxing of physical capabilities, but we have finally relocated from Kansas to Montana, where we are living with a close friend while we try again to complete the application for disability process. It is much, much easier to do here than in KS, which is the hardest state to get approved in, and they make the process as difficult as possible on purpose, which is incredibly difficult to deal with when you have major depressive disorder and severe anxiety disorders like we do.

Both for mental health reasons, and financial ones, this is a massive step in the right direction for us. And I have to say, looking at the presidential election right now, I have never been more glad that I am now living in a state which borders Canada. But no longer living with my parents helps too, despite them doing their best to help me in my situation, they don’t truly understand my mental illness or even that it is a mental illness, because of their religious viewpoint. It’s a draining effort to both deal with it and try to make them understand at the same time. A great deal of my anxiety issues have quieted down simply due to the fact that we are here instead of stuck there in that hellhole trap of a state.

My friend here has many of the same mental and physical problems that we do, so she does understand, and both of us having Aspergers means that we understand each other better than we understand others or they understand us. It helps to have a true supportive environment, and it’s a good thing both for her and for us, we can support each other. Once we recover from the truly massive rebound effects of overstressing to the limit, both physically and mentally, to accomplish the move, we hope to have more time to devote to writing and online pursuits.

It’s unfortunately been a long time since we had the energy to keep this blog updated in any coherent way, but hopefully that will get better as well. In the meantime, blissfully relieved to have pulled it off and made it here, as we truly weren’t sure we could do it up until the very last day. But we did do it, and we are here, and now we can truly begin to recover.

Bridge Symbolism

As we particularly enjoy the symbolism of bridges in tarot, I found this breakdown and view very inspiring, indeed. ~Rien

The View from a Drawbridge

Having worked on drawbridges for over 12 years, I’ve come to know how strongly many people feel about bridges in general. Just publish your plans to demolish or replace one, and brace yourself for the public outcry. People love to walk and jog across bridges, and many’s the time I’ve witnessed marriage proposals. Fishermen often have their regular spots staked out, and people love to hop out of their cars during bridge openings to enjoy the weather. For some inexplicable reason, the mentally ill are drawn to bridges as well.

Another strange thing about bridges is that people view them as bigger barriers than regular streets, even if they are fixed span bridges with no chance of causing a delay. People will not hesitate to take a 10 minute drive on an interstate which has the same length of road without exits as even the largest of bridges possesses, but…

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CT Leadership Journal article: learning about consent & abuse

so it seems at least a few evangelical churches are finally starting to wake up and ask the hard questions and recognise that they are – regrettably, and hopefully something that will change in the future – not even in a position to make the call on whether or not /any/ kind of abuse has happened, and get the proper authorities involved to make the investigation, and be willing to deal with the consequences of asking the hard questions even when the asking, and the answers, may make everyone extremely uncomfortable.

preventing even one child, and potentially more, from abuse and learning as a community how better to respond and react to it is worth whatever kind of upset is caused among the adults. there needs to be much, much more of this kind of response and much, much less of the usual silencing, ‘handling it quietly in-house’, and victim blaming and shaming that is so endemic in churches of every kind.

What’s Wrong With a Hug?

When a child in our church complained about an adult volunteer’s physical affection, we faced a difficult decision.

Voter ID laws and judges supposedly ‘legislating’ from the bench

My sister posted on facebook today about Texas’ Voter ID law, one of many pushed through in the wake of SCOTUS gutting the Voting Rights Act, getting thrown out by a federal judge, commenting the usual ‘you have to show ID for X and X, why not to vote? That is judges legislating, right there.’ I sighed, and pinched the bridge of my nose, and we debated for about five minutes whether to say anything at all. Whether to simply post a link to Hillary’s speech about making voting easier in all states in general – which would be ignored, probably without comment.

This is one of the few sisters that I don’t have a strained relationship with, partly because we avoid talking about our politics, and social justice, like the plague around my family – they are all hardcore right wing, to a greater or lesser degree, my dad the most so, but all pretty much in tea party land and I…we are pretty damn far left. Much further left than Obama, or most of the Democrats to be honest. So we do not talk about politics to my family. Regardless of whether their reaction is anger or contempt, ridicule or lecturing on how we are wrong and they are right, it’s pretty much just useless.

However. For some things, sometimes, you just have to stand up and be counted. As it has been said, my feminism will be intersectional, or it will be bullshit. Here is my reply, copied as is, though I may add more to it later when I am not half dead from sleep deprivation.

Continue reading

beliefs as a collective

I had been meaning to do a post for awhile here to follow up the other one, on what specifically each of us believes, because all our spiritual/religious beliefs are as different as everything else about us – the only thing we really think the same on is sociopolitical issues. However, I (Kagi) ended up writing a very long comment here on an atheist blog which attempted to summarise our collective beliefs, that is, roughly what we believe as the All, the Tiramorn Narmacil Isilelenya collective.

So I will repost that comment here, and do a followup later with more detail about each of us individually. Having come from a fundamentalist background, and having expressed ourself on the blog in the past as ‘Christian’, I just want to emphasise that our beliefs have been growing and changing as we also grow and change, and having given up on trying to find any common ground with our family, there’s no point in using conciliatory language anymore. We no longer consider ourself Christian, partly because we feel triggered by sharing the label with people who hate us, and partly because it just isn’t true.

We’re universalist, really, and retain some xtian beliefs as part of that, but I’m pretty sure most ‘Christians’, including our science-denying, queer-unaffirming family, would consider us heretics. We don’t care. All we seek is truth.

So, here is the comment, slightly edited for clarity:
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just a quick notice

I have been ‘coming out’ recently to my friends and family as a functioning multiple, meaning I have a number of alternate personalities, non of which are dysfunctional or dangerous; there are six of us, in fact. I’ve also updated my profile and About page to reflect this. In coming out, we have needed to change not only the way we refer to ourself, but the way that we refer to our sexuality and gender identity, because all six of us are different on these matters. We also have different views on religion, but generally agree about social issues. As the All, the collective, we are trans non-binary and effectively bisexual, preferring (along with Kagi and Ilka) the ze/zem/zyr pronouns, though Kagi is used to being taken for female and doesn’t mind she/her, and Ilka has recently, for various reasons, allowed the use of he/him for zemself.

First there is me, Kagi, I am the ‘front’, the face and the voice, and I am the one who usually speaks for the All, when we want to express ourself collectively, not as individuals. I tend to switch pronouns between I/me and we/us when what I am saying overlaps with the All (we all do this, I think), and switch completely to multiple pronouns when I am speaking for the All. Continue reading

reblog: The clobber verses of slavery and the slavery of clobber verses

The clobber verses of slavery & the slavery of clobber verses.

This seems particularly apt, in the wake of the shooting, and in the general unrest between white America and those desperate to demand it recognise that #BlackLivesMatter, where each clash of police and protestors seems almost to sound a call to arms, where on twitter now there is a reminder #WeWillShootBack, to remember that the last time racism drove us to arms, it was over defense of theology. A theology that held that scripture condoned and even commanded slavery – and thus biblical literalism was born. All of evangelicalism has followed in its wake, and since there never has been a definitive argument won between the literalists and those who take a broader, more nuanced look at all of scripture and interpret it’s principles as unilaterally leading to justice, mercy, grace, and peace. Equality, freedom, and hope for all. Literalism denies all this. It must, for those are the roots of it, the very basis of it’s existence. If we are to come to terms with racism in this country, white america, religious right america, must turn it’s back on the theology of slavery, and reach for the freedom, hope, and grace that the theology of equality offers. Only then can we admit, how wrong our forefathers were, and how shamefully their racist legacy lingers in the institutions, the very foundations of our society.

see also: Three strikes against white evangelical theology & Slavery segregation and biblical literalism contd